Squirrel Poll
Today at lunch, a Mr. Christopher Moody put something nasty on my plate and this nasty thing was referred to as a "squirrel turd" by a Mr. Jon Brown. Yesterday, Mr. Mario Avila pointed my attention to this story about a squirrel. And recently a Mr. Michael G. Finley directed my attention to Portable Nut...
So I thought that I would take a three question survey to see how everyone is feeling about these creatures.
Question:
1. Do you like Squirrels?
2. Why or why not?
3. How do they make you feel?
11 comments:
Hey, you didn't mention my awesome poem about the forest squirrel............
SHOOT! yes.....I apologize profusely....
Mr. Timothy Davis (at the lunch referred to in the above post) quoted the ENTIRE "Ode to a Forest Squirrel" to all of Ruby's Diner. I should also mention that he is also the author of this amazing poem.
Jen, I don't really like them. Because they never come near enough for you to appreciate them, I'm pretty sure they make strange
high-pitched sounds, and once in the seventh grade one climbed up my leg, which I didn't like. But you should post the "ode;" because right now I'm reading "ode to the death of a favorite cat" and I bet there would be parallels.
Squirrels, as Mr. Crowder said, are evil. I don't like them. I do like them in the sense that they are fun to chase and perhaps crush. I do not like them because they make noise and throw things at you when you're camping.
A friend in grade school once told me that he snuck up on a squirrel, chased it down in its surprise and crushed it with his boot, which he called his "waffle-stomping clod-hoppers." I laughed until I cried and snotted myself.
Upon request:
Ode to a Forest Squirrel
There was an ugly man
Who lived all by himself
And every night he put
His teeth upon the shelf.
He had an ugly dog
A dog he deemed his own;
They lived out in the woods
This man and dog alone.
There was a chirpy squirrel
Who stopped by day to day,
But when he saw the two
He usually ran away.
Now one day when the dog
Was outside for a trot
He bit the squirrel in two
And left the halves to rot.
The man, he never knew,
But every night at eight:
His teeth up on the shelf
Where they would sit and wait.
Would any of you happen to know where I could get my hands on a squirrel zapper, it's kind of like a bug zapper.... only bigger
I like squirrels.
squirrels look nice becasue they are fuzzy and small and you can watch them eat pinenuts and you think that is cool but in reality squirrels are vicious. you should never try to catch one. my cousin did once and it bit him. ouch.
Squirrels are dark and evil. They belong directly to Satan and are, in fact, his minions.
1. Do you like Squirrels?
Squirrels...or Sciurus carolinensis...taste best when broiled at 400F and basted with hickory smoked flavored bbq sauce.
2. Why or why not?
according to an unnamed relative of mine who doesn't get out much and lives in the middle of nowhere because he's strange, "eatin' good squirrel puts hair on yore chest"
3. How do they make you feel?
Depends on how many I eat. Generally speaking, the more the squirrel, the more the Pepto.
1. Yes.
2. Pretty much because, other than being obnoxious, they are cute and furry.
3. Hungry! Just kidding.
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