Rumour Mill

Lately, some crazy gossip has been going 'round about me. I just want to make it clear that I:

Was not the pooper scooper for the three headed elephant at the Barnum and Bailey Circus.

Have never been a member of a punk rock band, though I did have green hair once.

Have never been, nor plan to be a Tibeten Monk.

Have never been in jail, though I did get handcuffed once (case of mistaken identity).

Am not a secret agent for the CIA.